Under the Oak

The Cult of Green strikes again! This time against soft toilet paper. Surely this crosses some sort of line.

“At what price softness?” said Tim Spring, chief executive of Marcal Manufacturing, a New Jersey paper maker that is trying to persuade customers to try 100 percent recycled paper. “Should I contribute to clear-cutting and deforestation because the big [marketing] machine has told me that softness is important?”

Listen pal, I can assure you it wasn’t a big machine that told me that softness was important.

You don’t want to know.

But despite environmentalists’ concerns, they say customers are unwavering in their desire for the softest paper possible.

Go figure.

Also in this article is probably the most timely set of editorial brackets I’ve seen in a while.

“That’s a segment [of consumers] that is quite demanding of products that are soft,” said James Malone, a spokesman for Georgia-Pacific. Sales figures seem to make that clear: Quilted Northern Ultra Plush, the three-ply stuff, sold 24 million packages in the past year, bringing in more than $144 million, according to the market research firm Information Resources Inc.

Meanwhile, a SURPRISING study has revealed that “quality” toilet paper is pretty stinkin’ high on people’s priority list (granted the study was done by the folks that make Quilted Northern Ultra Plush…but still…is anyone disputing the findings?)

At least I know what brand to buy now!